Been awhile

Lets begin with what has been going on...

1) Im officially UNEMPLOYED and miserable. I was laid off thanks to this economy. If I was depressed before this... I have officially hit rock bottom. I have been applying EVERYWHERE and literally i haven't heard back or I got the "we are currently on a hiring freeze." I can't deal I'm starting to panic. I have savings but its been about 5 weeks so far and all money is going to rent, food, bills...

2) I have been on a smoothie diet. Lost 17 pounds in 2 months. Make sure my protein is in there. Its a lot cheaper and quicker then sitting there and making a full meal. Plus since I'm in such a financial crisis this is all i'm left with. I wonder what its like to never have to work a day in your life. 

3) This weather is making me even more depressed. Its always rainy, cloudy, snowy, cold. SUCKS
Hurricane Sandy, Snowstorm Nemo, I barely see the sun EVER. So upsetting. 

4) My heart is breaking. The person i love the most is the one who hurts me the most. I know he lies to me i know that theres a lot of things he isnt telling me. We are falling apart but yet neither of us say anything to change it. He has me last on his list and i believe that is the problem. I would drop what i'm doing and run to him if he wants to do something. Him on the other hand.. Friends first, then work, and then his nonsense then me. If he has time for me then he will call. I need some advice on this!!

I need some boosters. Please send me some feedback, advice, positive energy, and a smile!!!